"Ladies and Gentlemen, we got him" [and not a moment too soon] OK, fun's over, the big day is upon us, bin Laden has finally been caught. By the police in Swaziland no less. And he seems to have gone quietly too. The Times of Swaziland reports:

'Bin Laden’ arrested, charged with theft

Only problem is, it's the wrong bin Laden. This deadly young individual is Wandile 'bin Laden' Mdluli, a Swazi sports star who can't possibly have picked his own nickname. Either he is making his inclination towards violent jihad a bit too obvious, or he has really pissed someone off in the media.

But you can't be too careful in these troubled times, where terrorists run our hospitals, read our children bedtime stories and put anthrax in our breakfast; it's better to fear the worst. Come to think of it, I suspect those who really know the truth about him name him 'bin Laden' due to his bad-ass behaviour. They want to warn us. His heinous crime here was the theft of a mobile phone, yet that's how they all start. Today: a phone, tomorrow: Afghanistan. He was probably about to take it into his shed and build a bomb or something. Frankly I tremble at the thought that al Qaeda might begin stealing things like phones. Civilization would crumble and even worse we wouldn't be able to ring them up to bitch about it. Bin Laden must be stopped. All of them.

Since the Times has no archive that I can see, here is the whole story, so that we may remember that early intervention stopped this fledgling terrorist wreaking further havoc.


‘Bin Laden’ arrested,charged with theft

BY THAMI PHAKATHI

MBABANE – Manzini Wanderers gifted midfielder Wandile ‘Bin Laden’ Mdluli has been arrested and charged with theft.

The Wanderers crowd-pleaser is alleged to have robbed a lady of her Nokia cellphone valued at E800, while at Lobamba.

The player will appear before the Lobamba Magistrate’s Court this morning facing robbery charges. Royal Swaziland Police PRO Superintendent Vusi Masuku confirmed the player’s arrest .

“Mdluli has been arrested by the Lobamba police and he is facing robbery charges. The 20 year-old suspect of Ngwane Park, Manzini, is alleged to have robbed a lady of her Nokia cellphone while at Lobamba. The police acted swiftly to arrest him and he will appear before the magistrate’s court tomorrow (today) morning,” Masuku said.

Wanderers PRO Vuyile Dlamini said he was not aware of an arrest of any of their players.
“It’s news to me. However, we are meeting this evening (yesterday), where a number of issues will be discussed. As for now I am in the dark,” he said.

The name of the alleged victim could not be obtained at the time of going to press last night.
Wanderers are still to play against Manzini Sundowns, XI Men, Royal Leopards, Malanti Chiefs and Mhlambanyatsi Rovers in their remaining MTN league games.  ¶ posted by the leech at 4/03/2007