Monday, July 10, 2006
Viva Il Dunce. Kick racism out of football; beat racism out of Heffer
It's official: Simon Heffer openly sympathises with fascism. Don't take my word for it, he said so himself in a truly disgusting piece of xenophobic bile in this weekend's Telegraph. Mixing sport and politics, and somehow managing to misunderstand both, he states why he wants Italy to beat the "French dog" in the World Cup final. He claims that this particular dog is down, though Amelie Mauresmo might have something to say about that. We may recall that Heffer is not new to yobbish discrimination, having recently lent his support to those leaden-minded English fans trying to force a reenactment of World War II on the German hosts. He therefore truly excels himself by claiming:
"Are we supporting France or Italy? It is, I admit, a tricky one, like choosing between Marshal Pétain and Mussolini"
How crass can you get? This sounds like the immature ranting of a six year old who has just read their first bit of history. Instead it comes from an apparently grown man, though one still gets the feeling that if his brain was tossed from a high building it would hit the ground with a dull thump rather than a squelch. And is he so blind to see what the words he has written actually mean? If he is backing Italy over France then by his logic he is giving his support to Mussolini. Part of me thinks that he has taken lessons on logic from Melainie Coulter, I mean Ann Phillips, no wait, I mean a possum. The other part of me thinks that the big closet fascist is coming out, and only his Italian sytmpathies prevent cries of "Heil Heffer." I guess they'll just have to call him Ill Dunce. Anyway, he's not done yet. Our sporting expert declares that this contest is like choosing between:
"snails soaked in garlic and gnocchi"
How about two football teams better than England? Or more positively, how about Paris and Rome, Sartre and Ecco, Michaelangelo and Cézanne? This earwig thinks he can extol the glories of English history while never reflecting on its failings. But when it comes to other nations, they may only look at themselves in disgust. Such insulated absence of principle would suit any fascist nicely.
Heffer's vindictive crusade against French people, regardless of who they actually are or what part of society they occupy, extends to the European Constitution. He witlessly claims that this was a piece of adversity for the "arrogant French", conveniently blinding himself to the fact that the idea was rejected by the French people themslves, on both extremes of the political spectrum. The European Constitution was rejected by France in the same way Mussolini was disposed of by the Italians [and Heffer's hated lefties at that]. The fact that he rejoices over riots in Paris makes you wonder just how far his schadenfreude would go. Had terrorist plots in Strasbourg and Paris been pulled off, would he have enjoyed those too?
The fact is that if Heffer had any success to show himself he wouldn't need to cower behind a collective identity while making cheap jibes at others like some yellowbellied sniper. Heffer shouldn't be asking who he wants to support - he wont find a good enough answer based on history or politics - instead he should be asking why he is sticking his nose into a competition that he clearly doesn't care about. As Shakespeare himself may have written: "what a complete tit".
Petain - Simon Heffer's archetypal Frenchman is thinking: "After we win the World Cup, we will enslave Europe with our fiendish constitution. Haw haw haw"
"Are we supporting France or Italy? It is, I admit, a tricky one, like choosing between Marshal Pétain and Mussolini"
How crass can you get? This sounds like the immature ranting of a six year old who has just read their first bit of history. Instead it comes from an apparently grown man, though one still gets the feeling that if his brain was tossed from a high building it would hit the ground with a dull thump rather than a squelch. And is he so blind to see what the words he has written actually mean? If he is backing Italy over France then by his logic he is giving his support to Mussolini. Part of me thinks that he has taken lessons on logic from Melainie Coulter, I mean Ann Phillips, no wait, I mean a possum. The other part of me thinks that the big closet fascist is coming out, and only his Italian sytmpathies prevent cries of "Heil Heffer." I guess they'll just have to call him Ill Dunce. Anyway, he's not done yet. Our sporting expert declares that this contest is like choosing between:
"snails soaked in garlic and gnocchi"
How about two football teams better than England? Or more positively, how about Paris and Rome, Sartre and Ecco, Michaelangelo and Cézanne? This earwig thinks he can extol the glories of English history while never reflecting on its failings. But when it comes to other nations, they may only look at themselves in disgust. Such insulated absence of principle would suit any fascist nicely.
Heffer's vindictive crusade against French people, regardless of who they actually are or what part of society they occupy, extends to the European Constitution. He witlessly claims that this was a piece of adversity for the "arrogant French", conveniently blinding himself to the fact that the idea was rejected by the French people themslves, on both extremes of the political spectrum. The European Constitution was rejected by France in the same way Mussolini was disposed of by the Italians [and Heffer's hated lefties at that]. The fact that he rejoices over riots in Paris makes you wonder just how far his schadenfreude would go. Had terrorist plots in Strasbourg and Paris been pulled off, would he have enjoyed those too?
The fact is that if Heffer had any success to show himself he wouldn't need to cower behind a collective identity while making cheap jibes at others like some yellowbellied sniper. Heffer shouldn't be asking who he wants to support - he wont find a good enough answer based on history or politics - instead he should be asking why he is sticking his nose into a competition that he clearly doesn't care about. As Shakespeare himself may have written: "what a complete tit".
Petain - Simon Heffer's archetypal Frenchman is thinking: "After we win the World Cup, we will enslave Europe with our fiendish constitution. Haw haw haw"
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