Bastardisation of the East: January 2009

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Demonstrating peace to the IDF. And giving them a few ideas

"Thousands of people expressed their views in an earlier, lawful, rally in Trafalgar Square...What followed was totally unacceptable criminal behaviour by a small minority who do not appear to care about any cause. Their behaviour was inexcusable as they took part in wanton criminality." Commander Bob Broadhurst, Metropolitan Police

I happened to be in London this weekend for a good friend's birthday and, walking the streets of the city yesterday with time on my hands, could think of no higher calling than the demonstration against the bombing and incursion of Israeli forces into Gaza. Like many, many people I've tried to do my modest bit to contribute to an end to hostilities and killing, save for posting on this blog (I was too paralysed by rage to write for a good long time. Also, I can't say anything that hasn't been said better elsewhere by various impartial and authoratative NGOs. It helps that people actually read what they have to say) so my presence was assured.

Despite my tender age I'm already a veteran of many demonstrations and actions, so I know these can be a mixed bag; I'm not going to be in full agreement with everyone, but broadly we are moving in the same direction. Yesterday's lineup, mixing domestic political figures like Tony Benn and Diane Abbott with victims of previous horror in Gaza, topped off with some impressive singing from Reem Kelani, was an intelligent, impassioned and well-informed one. It should have made me wonder how anyone could oppose this peaceful movement or dispute the facts at their hands, backed up by reports from human rights organisations and journalists that have got as close to the violence and the truth as possible.

Yet I didn't leave feeling this. I stomped off a short while before the event offically drew to a close in a huff, and not just because the of layers of injustice faced by the average civilian in Gaza, which pile up with such weight that I can't believe anyone can survive there (many don't...). No, what made me angrier than usual about this state of affairs was what I saw as the hijacking of this push for resolution by dangerous cretins, these infectious bigots whose contribution is worse than useless. For a few reasons I can perhaps bring myself to understand why some would brandish a placard calling these wicked attacks on Gaza "genocide" or a "new holocaust": Many people in Britain aren't clued up on the Holocaust these days and can't comprehend the scale or evil of Hitler's systematic murders; WWII for too many Brits is the Western front and the Battle of Britain rather than the more miserable business to the East of Berlin; in a protest environment some will get enraged or maybe unwittingly competetive over who can vent the whitest-hot outrage. But we should stick to the facts and name the names without slumping into overblown comparisons. The atrocities in Gaza are not genocidal in intent and don't have to be to be recognised as callous, unjust and worthy of criminal tribunals.

Spot the university. Clue: it's under the explosion

If these people need a small talking to, then the flag burners need a stronger shock to the system from the anti-war movement, for it is this movement that suffers the most from their stupidity. Yesterday a representative from Jews for Justice gave her time to speak out. In Israel the human rights NGO B'Tselem records the crimes committed by members of the Israeli Defence Forces with invaluable accuracy. IDF conscripts that don't want to kill women and children brave prison and pariah status not to fight. And there are numerous other groups that try to cooperate with their Palestinian counterparts to work for justice and the two-state settlement. So how would these courageous types feel seeing their flag and collective identity burned by thick-headed publicity tarts, whose chosen outlet is so destructive because they know they will never live out their misguided fantasy of wringing Ehud Olmert's neck? Tony Benn quite accurately said yesterday that the media never focus on what is said at these rallies, only the civil disturbances that afflict them. Yesterday was indeed a day when a lot of good, constructive things were said. It was the second group of flag burners I saw that prompted me to leave, strutting about on the platform in front of TV screens that were there to show us reports and images of the effects of this IDF terror on Gaza. An indiscriminate attack against every Israeli and bait for anyone in the business of setting back the Palestinian cause, the likes of Melanie Phillips and anyone else quite content to report, if not believe, that these events and actions are run by bigots for bigots. Thanks guys.

And finally, a big thanks and round of applause to the heroic vandals, who made such a fine statement by smashing in the windows of two branches of Starbucks. I'm sure the staff will spend their time picking up broken glass reflecting on the wrongs of their proven, well-substantiated pro-occupation bias and support for Operation Cast Lead, no doubt the reason they were employed there, rather than, say, their willingness to dispense coffee for a living wage. Meanwhile, chairman Howard Schlutz, allegedly a donor to Israel, will probably react with as much panic as if someone told him his coffee chain wasn't bland, souless and homogenous enough. Obviously a boycott isn't enough for these heroic smashers of windows. ‘Starbucks smashed and looted as anti-Israel protests turn to violence’, reported the right wing Daily Telegraph. They may have missed the real story, but they sure didn’t make this one up. War: what's it good for? Double glazing sales, I guess.

These latter two categories of hangers-on, as far as I'm concerned, are a hindrance and would struggle to outsmart ‘Joe the Plumber’ in a debate on the Middle East, let alone a sentient being. Police and reporters regularly get accused of lowering the figures of demonstrators present at these events and wilfully forgetting to count every fifth participant. I would consider it a favour if the flag burners and looters played the assigned role of every fifth participant and stayed away so that the rest of us can show something constructive in the face of such terror.

Smashy smashy. Why should the IDF have all the fun?

¶ posted by the leech at 1/18/2009 1 comments

Thursday, January 01, 2009

Yea, I went to Nam'.

As you step off the platform at the air-conditioned, fairly impressive-looking airport, it's little comfort for Paris Hilton barbies to know there is little much modernisation beyond in Ho Chi Minh city (formerly Saigon). I watched them napalm coconut trees in Apocalypse Now, Mel Gibson take on the Vietcong in We Were Soldiers (because he was tired of killing the English), and countless other full-metal-jacket films. And here I was, in my first visit to a communist country.

Looking back now, it was slightly disappointing. Where were the giant red flags adorning the golden star, statues of Ho Chi Minh, and portraits adorning every public corridor. Turkey and Russia do better jobs than that, and they're democratic states... mostly. Truth is, Vietnam is still very much a poor and developing country. Certainly not coming anywhere close to China, who could probably afford to buy America now with all their money. Soon chinese products will be made by American children, ha.

Whilst tourism has been a Vietnamese venture for the past 8 years or so, and your usual shopping mall brands like Gucci, D&G are around, and American brand Ford and BMW are occasionally on the streets, a very humble sense of living is still prevalent in much of the city in terms of infrastructure, housing development, any sort of public transport except taxis and lack of McDonalds, Burger Kings and other international fast food franchises.

This is probably why there are no fat people in Vietnam.

The first thing that will strike you if you are new to Vietnam, physically and/or mentally, is the shear number of small motorcycles. They. Are. Everywhere.

Highway code #1: As illustrated above, they will drive in any direction, governed by the Vietnamese highway code called "path of least resistance".

Highway code #2: The highway code also states that all vehicles (trucks, cars, bikes, bicycles etc) are not to leave more than a few inches of space of one another. There are a lot of people in Ho Chi Minh, with a lot of bikes with a whole lot of destinations to be and not a lot of space. The exception to this proximity rule is if you choose to travel by foot. In this instance, you must still conform with the motoring hierarchy and give way to motorcyclists on the sidewalks.

Highway code #3: You may not carry more than 5 persons, excluding the driver, on a motorcycle at any one time. However, if you have no passengers, you may in exchange carry large payloads of furniture, vegetables, fabrics etc provided you continue to observe highway codes #1 and #2.

Highway code #4: Honk. Whilst Ho Chi Minh may not have the striving money market of Wall Street littered with executives and briefcases, the residents are nonetheless extremely busy people and have too many places and things to go and do. True, there aren't that many traffic lights to begin with. But if the government put up traffic lights at every junction, where would they put all the telephone and power cables? There just isn't time to wait at every traffic light, if you see one. So honk. Honking lets others know you're observing highway code #2 and and remind you that you should be doing the same to the vehicle or person in front of you. A sort of "sonar" system is adopted by the motorists of Ho Chi Minh city whereby honking every couple of seconds allows each driver to know exactly where and how many motorists are in their blind spots. Highway codes #2 and #4 are complimentary to each other and are the pillars of an efficient flow of traffic.

Highway code #5: You must wear head gear at all times when riding your bike. Looking cool is paramount to Vietnamese motoring.

Observe these 5 rules and you will be well on your way to a longer life in Ho Chi Minh.

Vietnamese people know the meaning of hard work. Here, a mother and child sell tourists assorted cold drinks including fresh coconuts for a reasonable price. They did not ask to be pitied for a sale or force a communist drink into my hand. Just a small purchase in exchange for a photo.

Having said that, others have not been so noble, such as one man pestered me to have a "shoe polish" service. I was wearing Timberlands.

But as with most touristy areas in the world, Vietnam had its share of children swarm me for charity. Should I really believe they are less well off than their average residents in a communist country? Maybe I will give when I see a homeless person sleeping on the streets first. Until then, their Pokemon cards can wait.

Left: Like I said, there just isn't enough space in Ho Chi Minh.

Above: A fairly large canvas painting at one of these shops will set you back by US$50+. If you don't know how to bargain.

Taxis are the ~~cheapest~~ only way to get around Ho Chi Minh city if you have no legal ownership of a vehicle or lack the guts to rent a bike. Cabs are always metered, although coming in varying colours and level of shitty air-conditioning. These usually start at about 12,000 Dongs, almost 50 pence or under a US dollar.

You cannot bargain with taxi drivers.

The Mekong river is a 2-hour drive from the city, and has its very own floating market which I was hugely disappointed to not see. I imagine the Mekong delta was once rich for farming rice and various plant crops. For now at least, it seems rich for attracting tourists who want to see Vietnamese in funny, pointy hats. Nonetheless, the Mekong area remains one of the last few scientifically undiscovered areas in the world, with almost two new species found per week on average for the last several years.

Above: Monk slacking at a Buddhist temple. Buddhism and catholicism are the predominant religions in Vietnam. The coconut religion was also founded in the Mekong area about 40 years ago, although eradicated by the government already. Myth has it that having failed, the founder then went to Hollywood and found success with a new religion called Scientology.

Right: During the war, Vietnamese soldiers would hide beneath the canopy of these water plants in the stagnant water waiting in ambush. Sounds fun.

Left: Homage to Rage Against the Machine.

Above: Sunset on Ho Chi Minh.

Left: A signpost marks the crater left by a B52 bomber.

Center and right: A tour guide shows us how to incapacitate the American infidel. Ouch.

The Cu Chi tunnels is a complex and massive underground network that was used by the Vietcong to evade enemy air strikes and to remain hidden from aerial spies. The sand dug from these tunnels were taken to the nearby river and dumped in the water so as to leave no trace. Not only were they ventilated in clever camouflage, they were water-proof. Enemy attempts to flood out the tunnels failed as the tunnels were designed to slope towards the Mekong river. These tunnels beared impressive design and strategic originality given the resources available. 50p will gain you entry to the tour grounds, and for a little over 2 quid, you can join a guided tour with about 10 other people.

Here, a tour guide shows us the standard procedure for entering a tunnel entrance. You cannot enter if your weight is American.

Hmm, very sneaky indeed.

During war, the Vietcong fed mostly on tapioca-based foods and tea with sugar condiment. This was to ensure that they maintained a petite figure to sustain mobility within the caves. In contrast, the Americans had put a Kentucky Fried Chicken, McDonalds and Starbucks on every corner of Saigon to feed their racist and careless adventure in Nam'. I must say however, that I was disappointed that the tapioca meal did not come with a super-size option.

The leech may be pleased to know that the Vietcong adopt an eco-friendly approach to war, such as this "tree-bin" shown on the right.

Much of the Vietcong's munition was recycled from unexploded American bombs. When a 250Kg bomb is found intact in the ground, it is carefully sawn in half with a simple saw by two men, as one pours water gently over the shell to keep it cool, hence avoiding any heat from the friction that may cause an explosion and blowing them into the sky. Gunpowder from the bomb was then used to make a variety of land mines. Carefully placed twigs would indicate to other Vietcong the position of a mine, hence avoiding "friendly-fire". A skill that the US army is still trying to grasp in the Iraq/Afghan war.

Lethal spikes used in trapdoors were made with strips of metal recycled from American ordinance.

An hour and a half away back in Ho Chi Minh city, the war remnants museum hosts several impressively restored and maintained US military firearms and war machines such as the Huey helicopter, tanks, flame throwers, Howitzers and jet planes.

The wartime photos would show the victims of war and the indiscriminate killing of women and children using napalm bombs and the Agent Orange chemical which genetically affected many children. Whilst the museum might not be exactly impartial, some pictures were ultimately disturbing and depict acts that surely could not be justified. Some are purely justifiable only in war. And it truly makes one realise no war is without suffering to the innocent, as I read an exhibit of an American newspaper anti-war article proclaiming one can only hope to make it home in one piece or end up a psychopath like the rest. Taken my speech, taken my hearing, taken my arms, taken my legs, left me with life in hell. A Metallica song starts playing in my head...

A little dust graffiti on the tail of a Huey helicopter proclaims "no war".

Fruits of the military industrial complex.

Caucasian tourists are not a rare sight in this communist country, and a growing economy seems to draw a significant expat population. It certainly doesn't seem to dwell too much on the past and embraces all regardless of nationality, whilst still adoring its communist roots and Soviet Union inspiration. Struggling in poverty, but embracing its freedom from the grasp of french colonisation and a bloody American invasion.

Above: The closest thing I could find to a glorifying public image of Ho Chi Minh to remind ungrateful f**kers who your daddy is.

Right: Some coconut trees standing over a Vietnamese woman.

So Ho Chi Minh lacked the communist grandeur I was hoping for. The population was claustrophobic and reminiscent of the human traffic of Hong Kong. I disdained the challenge of having to ride the human wave of Hong Kongers and motorists were somewhat similar. I wouldn't have been surprised to see them riding in the shopping malls. Visiting these places makes you think a chinese population of 2 billion people is actually quite reasonable.

But by the end of my 5-day trip, I had yet to see a homeless person sleeping on the street. And sure, the taxi driver tells us the health care system isn't perfect, and there's no money to improve infrastructure, and most are content risking their lives on small motorcycles wearing only a skull cap, but they all seem more than content with their lives. The system does not leave the poor behind, and everyone seems to have a chance to make a living for themselves, no matter how hard it might be. Maybe communism isn't that bad after all. It certainly didn't seem worth invading and killing thousands over. Even if only briefly, I am content being far away from a place that allows the preggo, underaged kids and lazy, jobless parents to pro-create their Darwinian genes. For free.

¶ posted by Jon at 1/01/2009 2 comments

Contributors